en spend half their time assembling their own chains and spend the other half carrying them. » Octave Mirbeau
Every day I hear people (myself included) complaining, grumbling, speaking loud and clear their displeasure. If asked, they often appear to have difficulties in expressing what they want. These people are focused upon what they don’t want, not what they want. Otherwise put, they say: “I don’t want this or that anymore” … instead of saying “I want this or that”.
In defining my objective as what I don’t want, I disregard my brain’s search‐and‐focus mechanisms in the first place because I actually order it to look for what displeases me; in a second time I set up an emotional loop that sends back a negative and frustrating picture.
When I express what I wish to aim for and not what bothers me, I spark my RAS (Reticulated Activator System, located at the base of the brainstem and acting like a radar) and I allow my brain to go search for what I wish.
On the opposite, when I express loud and clear what I don’t wish anymore I maintain the frustration that nothing changes in spite of my (wrongly aimed) efforts.
As a conclusion, here goes the tale of the three wishes…
Well, the thought sprang to him to grab his basket and carry stones to erect the church, at night, while all were asleep. And this he did.
— Beware, said the smaller man, your house is a wreck and will crumble soon; who knows if you’ll live long enough to build a new one? Make another wish.
— Well, said the guy, I wish that my house become twice as large.
— All of this shall be granted you, said the little man, and he was gone.
— I’m bringing stones, replied the rich man, when all rest and sleep.
— Therefore you will get to state three wishes,” said the small man. Having thought about it all beforehand, the rich one replied: “I wish a pair of good and lively eyes for my old horse; as to the other two wishes, they are to be stated by my wife.
— Then those wishes will become true, said the small man.
Which happened. And that was their reward.” The second she spoke those words, her husband became blind as the old horse had been. The greedy man went into such a rage that he stated the third wish by shouting at her: “If you only want that, poor sap, I’d like to see you blind!”
Which happened. And that was their reward.